Post by Grey on Nov 27, 2004 3:29:09 GMT -5
The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc . : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accident all falls into
a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from any policeman....except that he got
caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
bills.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc . : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accident all falls into
a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from any policeman....except that he got
caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
bills.
